This is an AI-assisted parody site, not a professional adviser. Your question and Anthony’s answer may be stored, reused, edited, and published. Do not type anything private unless you enjoy learning through consequences.
You agree by using the site
By accessing or using Anthony Knows Best (the “Site”), you agree to these Terms. If you do not agree, leave the Site. Anthony has already marked your departure as a concession.
You must be legally able to accept these Terms. The Site is not directed to children under 13, who already receive enough unrequested instruction from actual adults.
Parody, entertainment, and AI
The Site is satire and entertainment. Responses may be produced by a third-party generative AI model or by a procedural fallback when the model declines to participate in Anthony’s confidence experiment.
AI output can be inaccurate, incomplete, offensive, stale, or impressively certain for no defensible reason. Nothing on the Site is legal, medical, financial, mental-health, safety, or other professional advice. Verify important information and consult a qualified professional. Anthony’s posture is not a credential.
Your questions become public material
You keep whatever ownership rights you have in a question or other material you submit. To the extent permitted by law, you also grant the Site operator a perpetual, irrevocable, worldwide, nonexclusive, royalty-free, transferable, and sublicensable license to host, store, reproduce, edit, adapt, excerpt, publish, publicly display, distribute, promote, and create derivative works from that material in any media, for the Site, related content, publicity, and commercial purposes.
That license includes publishing your question with Anthony’s response and related labels or metadata. We may shorten, anonymize, refuse, or remove a submission, but we do not promise to do so. No approval, attribution, or compensation is owed. This is the part where “I assumed it was private” loses on summary judgment.
Submit like an adult with foresight
You may not submit or use the Site for material that:
- is unlawful, threatening, abusive, defamatory, fraudulent, or invasive of privacy;
- infringes intellectual-property or other rights;
- contains secrets, confidential information, passwords, or sensitive personal data;
- impersonates another person or falsely suggests their endorsement; or
- interferes with, scrapes, attacks, overloads, or reverse engineers the Site.
You represent that you have the rights needed to submit your material and grant the license above. A group chat screenshot is not a chain of title.
The Site’s material
Except for user submissions and third-party material, the Site’s design, writing, software, graphics, branding, and other content belong to the Site operator or its licensors. You may use the Site for personal, lawful purposes. You may not copy the Site, build a competing Anthony, or resell his certainty without permission.
Availability and enforcement
We may change, suspend, restrict, or discontinue any part of the Site and may reject or remove content at any time. We may also block misuse and cooperate with lawful requests. Availability is not guaranteed. Neither is Anthony’s attention span.
Disclaimers and liability
To the fullest extent permitted by law, the Site is provided “as is” and “as available,” without warranties of accuracy, reliability, fitness, noninfringement, or uninterrupted operation. You use and rely on it at your own risk.
To the fullest extent permitted by law, the Site operator and its service providers will not be liable for indirect, incidental, special, consequential, exemplary, or punitive damages, lost profits, lost data, or decisions made after consulting a parody advice machine. Total liability will not exceed the greater of $100 or the amount you paid to use the Site during the preceding 12 months. You paid nothing. Anthony has done the math.
Changes to these terms
We may update these Terms by posting a revised version and effective date. Continued use after an update means you accept the revised Terms. Material changes apply prospectively unless the law permits otherwise. Anthony may rewrite history conversationally. The Site will at least update the date.